Would you like to know one of the most important needs for any relationship? Good old-fashioned honesty and openness.
Naturally, both husbands and wives need to be honest with each other, but this is an acute need for women. Every wife needs to know the man who shares her life is always being honest with her.
This is especially vital because it affects a woman’s response to a man’s authority and headship in the home. Husbands, if your wife is going to be able to respond to your authority and leadership, she needs to know she can trust you. If she senses you’re not being completely honest with her or that you’re hiding something from her, she won’t be able to properly submit to your leadership.
Yesterday, we talked about one of the important needs for husbands. Today, I want to talk about what researchers agree is the second most important need for women: conversation.
Many jokes have been made about how a woman can talk and talk and talk… but those jokes have a basis in fact. A woman’s need to talk is much greater than a man’s. And, fellows, it isn’t a joke any more than your need for sex is a joke.
When I say a woman needs to talk, I don’t mean she just likes to chatter. She needs the real, sharing kind of conversation. She needs her husband to be interested in what happened to her today… and where she went… and who she saw. Read More…
The number-two need husbands most frequently mention may surprise you. It’s admiration. That’s right, ladies. Your husband has a very real need to know you admire him. God points to the importance of this need in Ephesians 5:33b:
…and [let] the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband—that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates him and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly. (Amp.)
That’s quite a mouthful, isn’t it?
The reason God puts such an emphasis on this is because it is so vitally important to a man. He needs admiration to function properly as the mighty spiritual warrior God created him to be.
Have you ever noticed the way little boys will show off for little girls? If so, you know this need to be admired surfaces early and continues right into adolescence. Teenage boys go to great lengths to impress any girl who happens to be watching. Some women simply think such attempts at admiration-evoking are just a male “pride thing.” But they’re wrong. The need for admiration is a God-designed facet of the male ego. And that ego, when properly fueled, will propel and energize a man to do the things God has called him to do. Read More…
Men and women have differing needs. That fact is confirmed not only by the Bible, but by secular studies and research as well. Nearly all the studies I’ve seen in this area report that everyone has 10 or 12 basic needs, yet the top needs for women are very different from the top needs for men.
On practically all of the lists of needs that have been compiled, one particular need consistently shows up as being the most intense for men. A different need area almost always shows up as being most important for women. Would you like to know what your spouse’s “number-one” need is? Read More…
“My needs aren’t being met.” That is the battle cry of 99 percent of the people who attend marriage counseling. God designed us with certain physical, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. Men and women both have them, and according to God’s plan, when a man and woman come together in marriage, those needs can then be fully met.
At least, they are supposed to be. In reality, what often happens is that men and women fail to realize just how strikingly different each other’s needs really are. As a result, neither the husband nor the wife are fulfilled… and trouble follows.
If their needs continue to go unrecognized and unmet, the collapse of the marriage is almost unavoidable. That’s why I want to challenge you to become more need-conscious. No, I’m not talking about being aware of your own needs. I’m talking about developing a greater understanding of the needs of your spouse. Such an understanding can save a failing marriage, make a good marriage even stronger, and end up blessing you as much as it blesses your partner.
Most people don’t understand that. They think, “My wife has certain needs and I have certain needs.” They separate out “his needs” and “her needs.” But the truth is, they are all a part of “the relationship’s needs.”
You and your spouse are one flesh. What enriches one of you enriches the other as well. As Ephesians 5:28-29 says:
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth it and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church….
In other words, God is saying, “Listen folks, when you do something for your spouse, you’re doing it for yourself. It’s just like ministering to your own body. Husbands, when you meet a need in your wife’s life, you’re meeting it in your own life.” Read More…
“The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” -Proverbs 19:11
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” -Steven Furtick
If you want to become sad and frustrated, compare your life to those around you. Realize that they may be dealing with something difficult you can’t see. It will always be in your best interest to live your life free from comparison.
Love suffers long, having patience with imperfect people.
Love is kind, active in doing good.
Love does not envy. Since it is non-possessive and noncompetitive, it actually wants others to get ahead; hence, it does not parade itself.
Love has a self-effacing quality; it is not ostentatious.
Love is not puffed up treating others arrogantly. It does not behave rudely, but displays good manners and courtesy.
Love does not seek its own, insisting on its own rights and demanding precedence; rather, it is unselfish. Love is not provoked. It is not irritable or touchy, rough or hostile, but graceful under pressure.
Love thinks no evil. It does not keep an account of wrongs done to it; instead, it erases resentments.
Love does not rejoice in iniquity, finding satisfaction in the shortcomings of others, or spreading an evil report; rather, it rejoices in the truth, aggressively advertising the good.
Love bears all things, defending and holding other people up.
Love believes the best about others, credits them with good intentions, and is not suspicious.
Love hopes all things, never giving up on people, but affirming their future.
Love endures all things, persevering and remaining loyal to the end.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-6, Spirit-Filled Life Bible
No two people on earth are exactly alike, but one thing can be said of every one of us. We have each been entrusted with three resources to manage: time, money, and relationships. Your skill at exercising stewardship over these precious commodities has an incalculable impact on your quality of life—and your complexity of life.