“Talk to Me, You Handsome Man,” Part 2

Yesterday, we talked about one of the important needs for husbands. Today, I want to talk about what researchers agree is the second most important need for women: conversation.

Many jokes have been made about how a woman can talk and talk and talk… but those jokes have a basis in fact. A woman’s need to talk is much greater than a man’s. And, fellows, it isn’t a joke any more than your need for sex is a joke.

When I say a woman needs to talk, I don’t mean she just likes to chatter. She needs the real, sharing kind of conversation. She needs her husband to be interested in what happened to her today… and where she went… and who she saw.

Many guys don’t understand this need. So when their wife comes in and says, “Let’s talk, honey,” they glance up from their phones and say, “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

Husbands, please don’t do this. Why? You’re implying that she isn’t interesting enough to cause you to want to have a conversation, but you’ll be patient with her while she talks. You’ve insulted her. Let me turn the tables and put it in terms you understand a little more. Let’s say you walked into the room and said, “Honey, let’s have sex.” And she glances over her phone and says, “What for? Is it time to have kids again?”

You may think those two situations are different, but they’re not. Your wife needs to talk as much as you need to be sexually fulfilled. So recognize that need. Be diligent to share your heart with her.

Notice I said, be diligent. You’ll have to deliberately set time aside for communication or it won’t take place. How much time should you allot? Most psychologists agree that 15 hours a week or so is really what’s needed—say, about an hour a day during the week and the rest on the weekends.

I can just hear some of you guys right now. “Fifteen hours! I can’t spend 15 hours a week talking to my wife.” Yes, you can. Not by sitting in two chairs staring at each other for hours on end, but by planning activities together. Go walking or bike riding. Do things you enjoy and talk while you’re at it.

Time spent in front of the television does not count. Neither does the time when the kids are harassing you and you’re being distracted by a myriad of other things. Pick a time during the day when you can give one another your attention. Then, let the conversation flow. You may end up enjoying it more than you think.


Tune in each day this week for more information on what the top needs are for men and women.

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About Mac Hammond

Mac Hammond is senior pastor of Living Word Christian Center, a nondenominational church located in Brooklyn Park (a suburb of Minneapolis), Minnesota. Pastor Hammond also hosts the Winner's Minute and the Winner's Way television broadcasts and has authored several internationally distributed books . Mac Hammond is broadly acclaimed for his ability to apply the principles of the Bible to practical situations and the challenges of daily living. Mac Hammond graduated from Virginia Military Institute in 1965 with a Bachelor's degree in English. Upon graduation, he entered the Air Force with a regular officer's commission and reported for pilot training at Moody Air Force Base in Georgia. Mac received his wings in November 1966, and subsequently served two tours of duty in Southeast Asia, accumulating 198 combat missions. He was honorably discharged in 1970 with the rank of Captain. Between 1970 and 1980, Mac was involved in varying capacities in the general aviation industry including ownership of a successful air cargo business serving the Midwestern United States. A business acquisition brought Mac and his wife Lynne Hammond to Minneapolis where they ultimately founded Living Word Christian Center in 1980.

One response to ““Talk to Me, You Handsome Man,” Part 2”

  1. Shirley Tuttle says :

    Great information! I will start my conversation with; “Talk to me you handsome man” I assure you he will think I am up to something! God help us!

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